Recently this week, we have all been bombarded by posts from all side of the arguments, whether it’s the reason why you should or should not date a girl/woman/boy/man/dinosaur who travels and it got me thinking…Date?
It seems to me that those articles were written by people who have never traveled intensively and are jealous of the ones who do or have already settled down in a specific location after a lifetime of traveling and are thinking about commitment.
Trust me, dating is the last thing that comes to mind for the average backpacker (unless of course you are a traveling couple, in which case, none of these articles refer to you).
The three sides of the Love Equation
When I was working in Argentina, a dear traveler friend of mine got in a relationship with a boy who didn’t travel. Suffice to say, things didn’t work out and he got jealous over the fact that she spent her holidays traveling instead of spending them with him.
“I didn’t come to Argentina to get into a relationship, I came here to study and travel” was her response. The boy couldn’t comprehend it. Most boys can’t. She made the best choice of her life by leaving him.
Another friend of mine shocked me when she told me that the reason she broke up with her boyfriend was because he wanted to travel to Europe for the whole summer and she was jealous of what he might do over there.
“But hey, by breaking up with him you basically set him free to do what he wants…even tough that wasn’t his original intent!” I told her. She was baffled and deeply regretted her choice. He never got back to her arms.
Finally, during my trip to the Jerusalem last year, I met a girl who was in a committed relationship with someone back home and yet, she still managed to have fun in the road less traveled without any worries. The best way to avoid jealousy and possessives?
An open-relationship, she told me. What the left hand doesn’t know cannot hurt it. Cold? Yes. Practical? You bet!
A Traveler’s Dating Life
Dating is such a conservative and traditional notion of modern society and we travelers are everything opposite of that. Our lifestyle consists of brief affairs with people that we meet on the road and who we are most likely never going to see again in our lives.
Is it an empty live? No. Yes. Maybe. What do you need to be happy? Stability? Money? Freedom?
We travelers are gypsies and vagabonds. Plain and simple. We will be there for you today but we probably won’t stay for going to the movies tomorrow.
We are not dating material, please understand that. Don’t try to make us to commit because it simply isn’t in our DNA.
We are free spirits who are capable of love and yes, we will fall madly for you and yet, we will be selfish enough to try our best to lure you into trying our nomadic lifestyle with us instead of adapting ourselves to your sedentary one.
And, if you are brave enough to take the risk of getting to know us, well, prepare to have the best of times when we’re together in the same city…and brace yourself for the sadness that will come when we’re not.
We are travelers, some people love us, most hate us, few comprehend us. To which group do you belong?