The following is an article by guest writer Trisha Velarmino, a world traveler from the Philippines who dated a Mexican man for 12 months (I promise it wasn’t me!) and whom I asked to share her experience here. Are you ready to blow our minds away, Trisha?
Ladies, take it from me. They will steal your heart. They will own it. They will take your breath away. They will turn your round iris into heart shapes. They will make your knees tremble. And once you go Mex, you can never go Ex.
My first love was Gael Garcia-Bernal with his powerful portrayal of Che Guevara in the Motorcycle Diaries movie. He was one of my inspirations in traveling South America.
I’d be like, “Gael is Mexican? Okay, I am officially naming my first son after him.’ This guy is the love of my life! When I was 16, I had no idea about what Mexicans are all about.
At the time, my country (the Philippines) have adapted a lot of telenovelas from Mexico and I only relied on Thalia’s Fernando Jose as an icon on the undying Maria Mercedes series.
Then came Fernando Sucre (Amaury Nolasco) from Prison Break. While everyone had the hots for the unbelievably stunning Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller), I appreciated Sucre’s mexicanism more.
The way he loved Maricruz in those final episodes (she was pregnant, if you remember) made me think that “one day, I will have my own papi too.” And I did. Twice. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named and You-Know-Who made me believe in the goodness of men.
I wasn’t deeply inlove with these dudes to be honest, but their unique ways are not too easy to forget. Additionally, after 10 years since I first saw Sucre, I found out that he’s Puerto Rican. Grrr, I knew it!!! So anyways, here’s my list of the 10 reasons why you shouldn’t date a Mexican. Do you agree?
Don’t Date a Mexican #01: You Will Get Addicted to Those Guacamole Dips They Make Everyday
Onions, tomatoes, lemon, a guacamole and it’s seed — that’s the perfect recipe for a cabron’s daily nutritional need. It may look like they’re just randomly mixing stuff in a bowl but in reality, they are really brewing perfection. I tried to do this myself but it’s never the same.
And when you try to ask for the recipe, they don’t have it. It’s just a natural talent. Why they include the guacamole’s seed is another mystery.
Don’t Date a Mexican #02: You Will Long for Their Warm Hugs and Then Some
Actually, it’s hot. As hot as the strongest ‘hot sauce’ there is. That generous-no-bars-held kind of hug. Think of it as a bear taking control of your body (but remember, biting is only allowed if you agree to it)!
You will want to hug them even if it’s 39 freaking degrees outside which is not that uncommon since in most areas of Mexico it’s always either spring or summer.
Don’t Date a Mexican #03: Because They Can Cook Very Well
“Dinner tonight? Your place or mine?” Seriously, when they say this, they are not trying to get into your pants (at least not the first time even though it happens). They ask this because they prefer to cook than eat out (and not only because of the money).
They always want to know what’s in the food they eat. I mean come on, a good-looking man who can cook while a Mexican song is blaring on the radio sounds like a dream come true.
Come on! Give me a break! That’s too cute.
Don’t Date a Mexican #04: You Will Hate How They Look at You Will All the Love in Their Eyes
These creatures are the most genuine people on earth. Sometimes, I come to think, “do Mexican men ever lie to women?” Their facial expressions are so real you won’t see any negativity. Just pure love and liberty.
However, be warned that Mexicans are naturally good at exaggerating the truth but don’t blame them, it’s just part of their funny banter and sense of humor instead of being an attempt to mislead people. For example, did you know that Raphael is currently traveling in Europe with a second hand Air Force Pilot jacket?
I couldn’t believe some of the tales he told me about how people randomly stop him on the street hahaha! I mean, who doesn’t love a man in uniform?
Don’t Date a Mexican #05: You’ll find it Hard to Laugh at Other Men’s Jokes
Mexican men are very funny without even trying. Jokes are randomly thrown and it will make you laugh your heart out. No dull moments. Never.
It’s especially hilarious when they try to imitate a foreign accent. Hearing a Mexican trying to speak with an Indian accent is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. How come that thing hasn’t gone viral on Youtube yet?
Don’t Date a Mexican #06: Because They Are Brutally Honest
There are no shortcuts. No gray area. Everything’s straight to the point. It’s either swipe right or left on Tinder.
There’s no “swipe center!” The answer will always be a yes or a no. “Maybe” doesn’t exist.
It’s “I like you” or “I don’t like you.” And yes, asking a Mexican man if you look fat in that dress will always end in a Greek tragedy.
Don’t Date a Mexican #07: You Will Always Remember Them Whenever You See a Bottle of Hot Sauce
When I came to Argentina, I started eating Doritos with a power hot sauce all over it and my friends were like, “Doritos with hot sauce? Who does that?!” I smiled and whispered to myself, “the Mexicans.”
A bottle of hot sauce will always serve as their icon.
Don’t Date a Mexican #08:You Will Never Forget their Spanish Phrases. Even if You Don’t Speak Spanish
Although most of them are fluent in English, they have the habit of randomly murmuring in Spanish while looking at you, watching you sleep. You might not understand it but I am sure you will get to memorize the exact words because it reflects sincerity.
They can even say a bad word and it will sound good to you. Cabrón! Pinche Wey! Pendejo!
Don’t Date a Mexican #09: Because They Take Selfies with You
Though they don’t always agree with the amount of selfies you have on Instagram, they will always say “yes” when you want to take one. All you have to do is ask nicely. Selfies don’t make them feel emasculated and that’s one quality of a real man.
They don’t have their balls over their head. And yes, have you read this awesome article about how to take the perfect travel selfie? Selfies are awesome yo!
Don’t Date a Mexican #10: You Will Love Them Forever. I Mean Forever
… and you will never want anyone else. It will be difficult for you to date someone else. You will always compare. But let me tell you that it never ends bad with Mexicans — ending a relationship with them is always a good note, regardless of what you’ve been through. They will treat you the same and that will make it harder for you to forget them. You might even be forced to tell them, “please, don’t be too nice. I am trying to move forward.”
They will obey by letting you be and not talking to you. But they will stay just the same. You will always be that special girl in their life. Which gets me to thinking, if they dated 10 girls, that means they have 10 special girls? Possibly. Mexicans are so full of love, they are always willing to share it.
Trisha Velarmino is a road scholar who loves learning languages, burgers, cats, football, hot sauce, and coffee. She is the author of the travel blog, P.S. I’m On My Way where she writes about her long-term travel adventures, volunteering, learning languages, and encouraging women to travel solo. Follow her on Facebook.
Interested in known how to travel the world for months and months without going broke? Read all about Raphael Alexander’s extraordinary journey here and get inspired to travel NOW!